There is a magical eggnog recipe created (perfected?) by one Ms. Martha Stewart.  My mother, whom I lovingly refer to as “Martha F*cking Stewart,” made it for her annual Christmas Open House one year and it was muy delightful.


Ms. Stewart sharing her recipe with Mr. Jimmy Fallon - LOVE HIM!


For those of you wondering why I refer to my mother as Martha F*cking Stewart, it’s because she is crafty and knows how to throw kick ass parties; but will curse you like a sailor if you cross her.  I feel like Ms. Stewart would do no such thing.  She’d just look at you with scorn and disdain, then have you murdered.  It’s her way.

So anyway, the recipe can be cut or multiplied as you deem fit.  The version below serves 26, which in MY family means it would really serve, say…four.  My brother and I are half German, half Irish and my cousins on my dad’s side are half German, half coon-ass.  Needless to say, we’re drinkers.

SO – you will need the following:

  • 12 large eggs, separated
  • 1 1/2 cups superfine sugar
  • 1 quart whole milk
  • 1 1/2 quarts heavy cream
  • 3 cups bourbon
  • 1/2 cup dark rum
  • 2 cups cognac
  • Freshly grated nutmeg


  1. In a very large bowl, beat egg yolks until thick and pale yellow.  Gradually add sugar to yolks.  With a wire whisk, beat in milk and 1 quart cream.  Add bourbon, rum, and cognac, stirring constantly.
  2. Just before serving, beat egg whites until stiff.  Fold into mixture.  Whip remaining heavy cream until stiff and fold in.  Sprinkle with nutmeg.

So there you have it folks; a delightful eggnog recipe suitable for any occasion.  It goes best when paired with family, a fire and food.*


*I was going to write something snarky about family drama and food fights then flame throwers but I couldn’t quite make it happen.  The Christmas spirit hath dampened my powers of sarcasm.   Lame.