Continued from The Origin, Part I:

The first thing that I noticed wrong with the house was a leak in the master bathroom.  As anyone who’s ever lived in NOLA is aware, there is no such thing as a right angle in an old house; thus, the fact that the grout in the corners of the tub was cracked was not a shocker.  What WAS a shocker was when I’d take a shower and find a puddle of water on the floor despite my being a very contained shower-taker.  I caulked said crack, thinking the water was leaking from that point and yet, it continued.  Eventually we realized there was something loose with the shower head and the hub’s step-father was able to fix it.  Of course, that was only the beginning…

Over the past five years of home ownership we’ve had various plumbing leaks – both AC and kitchen sink.  We actually had an AC repairman FALL THROUGH THE CEILING then dump a full condensation pan over in the attic.  Hence why the guest bedroom and guest bath have been recently repainted.  As for other leaks, I currently am harboring the suspicion that our dishwasher is leaking.  Unless somehow the dog is managing to pee under the damn thing without my noticing, which honestly, wouldn’t be all that shocking.

We also had The Plumbing Snafu of 2010.  Over the first few years we were in the house, about every 6 months or so the toilets would turn into bidets whenever a shower was running or I did laundry.  We’d call someone out, they’d snake the line and we’d carry on our merry way for the next six months until it happened again.  Thankfully, no one was ever actually ON the toilet when the water would gently bubble up, though I suspect it wouldn’t be the worst experience in the world as some people pay extra for that.  Anyway, we eventually learned that the main leading from the house to the street was the original terra-cotta pipe, which we got to replace……to the tune of 4 grand.

In addition to the “big stuff” there has been a host of other “little stuff” that when they’re all added up have made me want to burn my house down.  Of course I’ve told so many people about this (forgive the pun) burning desire that if the place ever does go up in flames I’m going to have a hell of a time getting any insurance pay out.  It’s just, I find myself looking around my peaceful abode and literally feeling the house conspiring against me.  Anyone with me on that?  No?  Just me then?  In which case I wish you painful anal itch.

So I initially started this blog with the intention of voicing all of my complaints regarding my house, hence the name “Burning It Down,” but then I kind of thought that would make me seem like a whiny bitch.  Which I still probably am, but at least now you get some entertainment every now and then.