This weather is freaking me out.  It’s 65 degrees outside.  In May.  IN NEW ORLEANS.  Is the spaghetti monster in the sky planning to forsake us, but feels badly about it so he’s giving us one more awesome weekend of day drinking?  The Mississippi River flooding is slowly making its way down here so the Big Dude is all, “Shit.  I totally shat on those NOLA peeps like five or six years ago and now I’m about to f*ck with them again.  I’ll give ’em a nice send-off.”

That’s the only thing I can think of because usually, right about now, people are walking around sweating like me in church (’cause I’m not baptized and fear a lightning bolt from on High).

I could’ve worn a SWEATER today people.  Like those assholes in J.Crew catalogs who are photographed lounging on yachts in the south of France or wherever the F they got to go to FOR FREE because IT’S THEIR JOB (I’m not bitter…yes I am).  I’ve always gotten the “Spring” catalogs full of light jackets and sweaters and thought to myself, “Who wears this shit in May?  I’d sweat my balls off – if I had any.”

So anyway, we’re all down here marveling at the cooler temps.  Hopefully you won’t soon see me on the roof of my house while its floating down the Mississippi River to the Gulf.  But if you do…just send booze.

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