Some days, I wake up and I think, “I’m not gonna have that glass of wine (or two – four) when I get home from work today.  I don’t need the calories.”

Then I go through my day and, inevitably, at some point it tells me to go f*ck myself.

So really, if I’m at all suffering from the symptoms of alcoholism, I’m going to just blame it on life and call it a day.  With a glass of wine in my hand.