So I was walking with a friend recently and related to her the story I told HERE.  And, at first, she was all impressed because she thought I had actually SAID OUT LOUD what I was merely thinking.  I quickly corrected her to advise that, in fact, I am a giant *insert nasty p-word here* and would never say such a thing out loud.  Especially when one risks the dangers of possibly being shot – I live in an “up and coming neighborhood” and we’ll leave it at that.

However, it got me thinking that perhaps I should be less passive-aggressive and more aggressive-aggressive.  I’m not sure why I thought this would be a good thing; other than I’m getting crotchety in my old age.  And by “old age,” I mean I’m turning 32 this week.  So not really old enough to have earned my crotchetyness, but whatevs.

Cut to Sunday when I went to Walgreen’s to pick up a couple prescriptions.  As I’m attempting to exit the store THROUGH THE DOOR MARKED FOR SAID EXITING PATRONS I was met with some hipster asshole who a) couldn’t grasp the concept that one should let a “lady” exit a door rather than attempt to push past her and b) apparently couldn’t read the well-marked entrance/exit doors.

I proceeded to mutter loud enough for hipster asshole and his hipster girlfriend to hear, “Can’t you read?” as I trounced past them and got into my SUV and drove away.  I would’ve run over an endangered species on my way out – you know, just to drive my point home – but there weren’t any handy.

Later, when recounting the story, I advised my audience that the only reason I did it was because I believe that hipsters generally are pacifists and therefore, not likely carrying weapons.