I understand that, in these heady days of chain coffee stores with their grande whipped triple shot half-caf frap shit, that you want to distinguish yourselves from the rest of the yuppie pack by simply having your coffee come in regular sizes – small, medium and large.

But when I screw up and order a “grande” instead of a “medium”, DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A DICK ABOUT IT? Because I assure you that when I accidentally order a “medium” iced latte at Starbucks or CC’s they don’t instantly feign ignorance and act as though I’ve just set something incredibly dear to them on fire.

LIGHTEN UP, BITCHES. IT’S FUCKING COFFEE.

Advertisements