So last night I had some trouble sleeping and, as a change in my usual pattern, which usually involves thinking about all the ways I probably have committed legal malpractice, I came up with a story line idea for one of my all-time favorite TV shows – 30 Rock.

Now I just need you people to make this shit go viral so I can be swept away and paid millions of dollars by NBC – I’ll totally make it worth your while; i.e. I will repay you in booze.

So here’s my idea:  We open on Liz and Jack in Jack’s office.  Jack’s TV is tuned to a news channel showing footage of the various protests / revolutions that have been going on in the Middle East.  Liz turns to Jack and says, “You know, all of these protests are making me want to go to D.C. and call for someone’s ouster.”  Jack retorts, “Right, because you’re such a joiner.”

Liz gets offended and says, “What? I could be political and crap.”

Jack: “Lemon, I might actually be worried about your liberal commie politics if I wasn’t sure you’d give up after learning that protests aren’t all about eating doughnuts and throwing rotten organic vegetables at people.”

Cut to Lemon on the sidewalk outside of her apartment building, she’s walking to the bodega on the corner where she purchases her disgusting mexican cheese puffs. She is clearly well-known to the clerk working the counter. While checking out, Lemon learns that the bodega will be closing and soon replaced with some kind of “big box” store. Lemon is outraged as the bodega is the only place she can buy her cheese puffs.

The remainder of the episode involves the hi-jinks of Liz Lemon trying to organize a protest of the big box store – maybe the writers are forced to participate in some way. I don’t know – I didn’t flesh that part out too much, but I believe it has the makings of comedy gold – Lemon attempting to make posters, Frank has a special hat made for the protest that says something clever, thought up by someone smarter than I, etc.

At the end of everything, Liz learns that said big box store will be selling her cheese puffs and she suddenly doesn’t give a shit about the tiny bodega closing.

FIN

 

**ONE STAR?!?!  Who’s the fucker who only gave this brilliance ONE STAR?!? I shall find you, friend, and when I do…I probably won’t say a god damn thing because I abhor conflict. DAMNIT.

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