I was defriended by someone on Facebook last night.

I am now in torment to know who this lost soul is. Who found my Facebook status updates boring (or more likely, offensive) enough to stop being my friend? I probably used the term “baby jesus” too much (and without capitalizing it no less) and offended someone who goes to church three days a week. Which, now that I think about it…is probably OK and, frankly, for the best. I’d hate to see someone in Hell who got there just for reading my status updates. That would suck for them.

But if anyone wants to be my friend, let me know. I am now taking on ONE MORE FRIEND. Cause it’d put me back at 400 and the OCD in me loves a round number. It’s an onerous task though. You have to like all my status updates and engage in witty repartee that makes me seem delightful to others. In return, I will write you a personalized haiku. Persons with whom I am already friends don’t count. So don’t go trying to defriend me then refriend me. I WILL KNOW.

OK, I probably won’t know, but it’d be super mean.



I lost ANOTHER friend – am now down to only 398 and my self-esteem is circling the drain. Which is right where it was before the mass exodus started. Soooo, really nothing has changed except I’m now accepting applications for two new friends. Same terms apply. Leave me a comment if you’d like to be considered for this esteemed position. Seriously. Tell your friends and neighbors. THIS IS HUGE.