I’m starting a new thing wherein I offer up reasons why we, as a society / country / civilization / whatever can’t have nice things.

So there is a lawsuit filed by a frat brat seeking personal injuries. Now, this is not a case of hazing or falling off a bar stool or tripping over a passed out sorostitute. Nope. This kid is alleging that his drunk friend tried to shoot a bottle rocket out of his own ass, said bottle rocket failed to launch and, instead, BLEW UP INSIDE OF THE KID’S ASS. The plaintiff was so startled that he jumped back and promptly fell off of a deck.

So basically, the kid who fell off of a deck is suing his FRIEND who has an exploded anus.

Now, the plaintiff is blowing all of this smoke about how there was underage drinking and the deck didn’t have a railing, etc. etc. To which I respond, give me a f*cking break. I have little to no doubt that this plaintiff was also hammered at this party and, if he wasn’t encouraging the shenanigans of which he is now complaining, he was close enough to have been a willing witness. And yet, we’re all supposed to feel sorry for him and award him thousands of dollars for his pain and suffering.

I have no words. Other than to say this kid needs to grow the f*ck up. There’s a complete and utter lack of personal responsibility these days and it terrifies the shit out of me.