I get coffee almost every morning. It’s part of my routine and, frankly, makes the fact that I have to go into work a little less dreary. Most days, my coffee-fetching activities take little time because pretty much everyone who arrives at a coffee shop between the hours of 7 and 9 am are also worker bees headed to an office somewhere.

Then there are “those people.” These are the assholes who are there to “study” (i.e. read Facebook all day) or “read the newspaper” (i.e. converse with other retirees for hours about god only knows what). They have nowhere to be and zero cognizance of how their actions affect others. “Those people” come in at 8:15 am and hold up the line of drones by asking questions about what type of tea they should order, or whether the biscuits are fresh or frozen, or, more heinously, they insist upon ordering some drink that involves a twelve-step process to create none of which involve the actual use of coffee.

I’m a firm believer that there should be a separate line for “those people” because, truly, nothing irritates me more than having to wait twenty minutes for a latte because you’d rather have what is, essentially, a frosty for your morning beverage.

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