I never have quarters. NEVER.

Mostly because I never pay cash for anything except occasionally my morning coffee.

And every time I pay cash for my coffee, I feel compelled to leave my change in the tip jar for fear that the people behind me or, worse, THE BARISTA* will think I’m an enormous douche for pocketing that 44 cents.

*I really hate the word “barista.” It’s right up there with “amuse bouche” on the “if you say this I think you’re a pretentious asshole” barometer. Just FYI.