Category: The Plumbing Snafu of 2010

Continued from The Origin, Part I:

The first thing that I noticed wrong with the house was a leak in the master bathroom.  As anyone who’s ever lived in NOLA is aware, there is no such thing as a right angle in an old house; thus, the fact that the grout in the corners of the tub was cracked was not a shocker.  What WAS a shocker was when I’d take a shower and find a puddle of water on the floor despite my being a very contained shower-taker.  I caulked said crack, thinking the water was leaking from that point and yet, it continued.  Eventually we realized there was something loose with the shower head and the hub’s step-father was able to fix it.  Of course, that was only the beginning…

Over the past five years of home ownership we’ve had various plumbing leaks – both AC and kitchen sink.  We actually had an AC repairman FALL THROUGH THE CEILING then dump a full condensation pan over in the attic.  Hence why the guest bedroom and guest bath have been recently repainted.  As for other leaks, I currently am harboring the suspicion that our dishwasher is leaking.  Unless somehow the dog is managing to pee under the damn thing without my noticing, which honestly, wouldn’t be all that shocking.

We also had The Plumbing Snafu of 2010.  Over the first few years we were in the house, about every 6 months or so the toilets would turn into bidets whenever a shower was running or I did laundry.  We’d call someone out, they’d snake the line and we’d carry on our merry way for the next six months until it happened again.  Thankfully, no one was ever actually ON the toilet when the water would gently bubble up, though I suspect it wouldn’t be the worst experience in the world as some people pay extra for that.  Anyway, we eventually learned that the main leading from the house to the street was the original terra-cotta pipe, which we got to replace……to the tune of 4 grand.

In addition to the “big stuff” there has been a host of other “little stuff” that when they’re all added up have made me want to burn my house down.  Of course I’ve told so many people about this (forgive the pun) burning desire that if the place ever does go up in flames I’m going to have a hell of a time getting any insurance pay out.  It’s just, I find myself looking around my peaceful abode and literally feeling the house conspiring against me.  Anyone with me on that?  No?  Just me then?  In which case I wish you painful anal itch.

So I initially started this blog with the intention of voicing all of my complaints regarding my house, hence the name “Burning It Down,” but then I kind of thought that would make me seem like a whiny bitch.  Which I still probably am, but at least now you get some entertainment every now and then.

I realized recently that I am Even Steven.  Meaning that things usually even out for me, such that I maintain a general status quo of mild suck.

Take, for example, the following:  In 2009, after we filed our 2008 taxes we were summarily raped by the tax man to the tune of a couple grand owed in miscalculated taxes and the accompanying interest and penalties.  It was lovely.  In 2010 we filed our 2009 taxes and ended up owing only a couple hundred.  It was glorious, but only for a short time, as we were told by the plumber only a few weeks later that the main leading from our house to the street was the original terracotta pipe and would need to be replaced – to the tune of a couple grand.  EVEN STEVEN.

April is usually the time we get b*tch slapped by either the tax man or some major, unforeseen house repair and both the fridge and the washer/dryer have been eyeing me lately.  Alas, I now wait with bated breath to see what happens this year.  Here’s to hoping it’s something that can be purchased with the use of an interest-free credit card from the local Home Depot.



To the uninitiated, a FML Moment is when you are told/read/realize something that makes you die a little inside because you are reminded of just how much your life sucks in comparison to another’s.

My FML Moment of today is brought to me by Jessie of The Gimlet Eye, who, by the way, is the foremost contributor to my FML Moments.  Jessie and the hubs are going on a babymoon to lovely Puerto Rico and get to stay HERE.  Now, I realize everyone gets to take vacays; so why the FML you ask?  It’s because there is no vacay for me this year after The Plumbing Snafu of 2010.

That would be the terra cotta main that we got to replace back in April.  See, we avoided getting raped by the tax man this year, only to have the plumber come along instead.  The joys of homeownership are never-ending.