Category: This is going to cost me…



So you know how sometimes when you’re driving along on the interstate, the median between the roadways will be all forested and crap?

That’d be a good place to hide a body.

I mean, think about it. No one ever walks that area. Sure, there’s the occasional chain-gang or something picking up trash. But a foul smell would be attributed to road kill; not that bastard upstairs neighbor who brought home a rooster.

I’m just sayin’. So maybe don’t piss me off.

Happy Thanksgiving, my peeps!!!


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Happy now? And yes, I’m aware that I need a manicure.

As for the DRW. I think you know this one already…take one bottle of wine…add straw…drink.

Love you! Mean it!


So I parked my car this morning in the garage after making sure that I was properly within the lines. At one point, I opened the door, saw I was a bit close so I adjusted to get squarely within the parking space. As I’m gathering my shit I notice some whore get out of her Lexus SUV that is parked a solid three inches over the line. And of course she’s also wearing a ridiculous outfit that I’m sure she and millions of tweens think is über trendy – a skirt over capri leggings and fuck me heels. Nice work outfit, honey.

So I’m thinking all of these thoughts and silently judging her while waiting for the elevator and while I’m ON the elevator and while I’m walking behind her up to the escalators…

Instead of remembering on which floor I had just parked.

Quittin’ time should be fun! Nothing’s better than wandering around a hot and humid parking garage whilst jonesing for booze on a Friday.

Hope your kick-off to the weekend is better than mine, my peeps!


I once daydreamed about THIS.

Today…a lady was invading my personal space on a fairly empty elevator. So I fake coughed on the back of her neck.

She moved.

Which means that the lesson I learned is: Sometimes indulging my impulse control problem leads to desirable results.

GAME OVER, BITCHES.


Or hate me. But don’t unfriend me on Facebook. I think we all know how well that goes…

It’s just, I don’t get the hoopla surrounding that book Fifty Shades of Grey. I mean, it’s nothing more than poorly written fan fic based upon the Twilight series (another pile of garbage I will never understand). Go check out 50 Shades of Suck if you don’t believe me about the poor writing. Now, it’s not like I require Dickensian writing in all of my books; but if it can’t find a coherent plot (or sentence) with two hands and a flashlight then we should all just move along while someone sets all of the copies on fire.

My theory is that people with ordinary lives like to believe themselves to be “edgy.” So it’s similar to when books like Madame Bovary, The Grapes of Wrath and Slaughterhouse-Five came out. Those publications were widely derided as nothing but obscene trash – like Fifty Shades of Grey. Only, unlike Madame Bovary, The Grapes of Wrath and Slaughterhouse-Five – Fifty Shades of Grey is epically bad and it is only the subject matter that is titillating. Thus, while it may make people feel “edgy” it is certainly not a novel that will withstand the test of time.

Ultimately, it’s just sex, peeps. It happens all the damn time. I assure you, someone is doing it right now. Maybe even while reading this blog. Except probably not. Though I guess that might be very masochistic of them. SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

 


I’ve found that people these days don’t care about facts. Or who said what. Or where the “information” they’ve quoted comes from.

Just so long as the word vomit regurgitates their own beliefs back to them they’re perfectly willing to pass it on ad nauseum (that’s a lot of vomit for one sentence. FYI.).

I long for days of meaningful political discourse; where intelligent conversations were had without one party devolving into name-calling or abject reliance on MSNBC or FOX News.

When did doubt become a bad thing? Why is a change of heart and mind something to be vilified rather than celebrated?

An open mind isn’t a bad thing. It’s something to be celebrated. It means we are capable of change, of reinvention…capable of outside-the-box solutions to problems that eluded our forefathers.

The thought of a stagnant society for the sake of walking the beaten path is a society that is dead before it’s laced its proverbial shoes.

I’ll pass on that one. Thanks.


Bristol Palin Criticizes Obama On Gay Marriage, Says Kids Need Mom And A Dad. Let That Sink In. – The Superficial – Because You’re Ugly.

Like a fat kid loves cake. Or, like Bristol Palin likes penis. Yeah. Like that. I heard she likes that a lot.


I never have quarters. NEVER.

Mostly because I never pay cash for anything except occasionally my morning coffee.

And every time I pay cash for my coffee, I feel compelled to leave my change in the tip jar for fear that the people behind me or, worse, THE BARISTA* will think I’m an enormous douche for pocketing that 44 cents.

*I really hate the word “barista.” It’s right up there with “amuse bouche” on the “if you say this I think you’re a pretentious asshole” barometer. Just FYI.


It’s about politics. But before I get to my question, let me just clarify from the outset that this post is in no way meant to inflame, cause moral outrage or offend. It is not intended to “go viral” or spark a political movement. It is simply the best way I know to reach out to those who think differently than I do and get an honest answer without the drama that can often accompany political discourse that occurs in real life.

So moving on, here is my question. Which, in reality, is more of a stream of different thoughts that have plagued me over the last few months.

The message of Republicans and conservatives seems inconsistent.

It’s my understanding that part of what Republicans and conservatives want is less government regulations and less government intrusion into their lives. So why, then, is it OK to tell people what they can or can’t do in the privacy of their homes or with their bodies or minds? Why is requiring a transvaginal ultrasound before a woman terminates a pregnancy OK? Why is it OK to want prayer in school, but only want Christian prayer? Why is it not OK for an atheist or Muslim to voice his or her concerns over state-sanctioned religious activities?

How can a country founded upon religious freedom deem it OK to base its laws on a religion not shared by all of its constituents? I am not a religious person and have my doubts about organized religion in its entirety. As a result, I find it presumptuous that legislators should base the country’s definition of marriage on a religious text. A flawed religious text at that. Certainly there are numerous conflicts within the Bible and provisos that we no longer put much stock in – like stoning unruly children to death. So why do we get to disregard some aspects but hold fast to others and then codify those rules a select few have chosen to listen to?

Now, some may say that the legislators are only doing the people’s will. And, in a representative democracy, there generally is nothing wrong with that. It’s part of how and why this government was formed. But, consider this: the judicial branch exists for a reason. Namely to protect the minority from oppression by the majority. To right wrongs. To sometimes be the standard-bearers when necessary. I often wonder how long it would have taken the people of this country to outlaw slavery or Jim Crow laws if the judiciary hadn’t intervened. Just because something is what the majority wants / thinks / believes doesn’t mean it’s right. Who among you would stand up today and say that Jim Crow laws were OK? I hope none. But we have the benefit of hindsight and (for the most part) not having lived through it.

So that being said…How is the civil rights movement not the same as the homosexual rights movement? There were cases that went through the judicial system because an African-American person could not marry a Caucasian person. Such a marriage was deemed, at the time, to be morally repugnant. Leaving aside any religious arguments – why is OK to tell two consenting adults that they cannot get married? And I say, leave aside the religious arguments because not everyone shares your religious beliefs; thus, we should not be required to share them in order to share the same civil society. I have no doubt that during the Civil Rights era, there were people calling out the courts and decrying “activist” judges. Just as people today are incensed that courts have opened the doors to homosexual marriage.

It is my opinion – and I may very well be shown wrong – that in fifty, seventy or one hundred years, homosexual marriage rights will be just the same as those now enjoyed by heterosexuals and we will look back with a fair amount of shame and regret at how cruelly we acted towards those fighting for equality. Just as I feel now when I look back at pictures of grown-ass men shouting racial epithets at a little black girl on her way to school.

I’ve heard some arguments against homosexual equality in marriage as being that it somehow lessens heterosexual marriage. I don’t get that. I don’t understand how someone else’s relationship can have any effect whatsoever on mine. My husband and I got married because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. For me, personally, it had no basis in anything else. I didn’t want to impress anyone or make a statement. I didn’t get married to please any deity or procreate. I just wanted to have a partner to share this world with and share that experience with my nearest and dearest. I simply cannot, for the life of me, understand why someone would intentionally deprive another human being of that experience.

Also, what is the attraction to Rick Santorum? I’m not going to lie. That dude scares me. He seems OK with imposing his religious views on the entire country. I make no judgments regarding his entire platform because I’m unfamiliar with it. My concern is just that it seems that on the political spectrum he skews way to the right and when coupled with his religiosity, I would think he would scare off moderate Republicans and Democrats, as well as the independents. It seems like if the Republicans want to have a chance at winning the general election, the best approach is to not scare off the swing voters – the moderates and independents.

Anyway, these are just a few of my thoughts. And I mean it when I say I would like answers so if you have any thoughts please leave them in the comments on this blog. Any comments left on the blog’s Facebook page or my personal Facebook page will be deleted. Also, be warned, I will delete any comments that I view as personal attacks. I’m sincerely not looking to start a vicious attack, I simply want to see what Republicans / conservatives think about perceived inconsistencies in their platforms. Don’t feel the need to respond right away – I want thoughtful answers – link to articles or websites if you want to. Take a breath – don’t hit the publish key the second you’re done. Re-read your response and make sure it says what you want it to. Maybe I’ll respond, maybe I won’t, but I will read your comments and digest your thoughts. I’m not saying I’m going to change my mind and I’m certainly not attempting to change yours, but I think a little understanding on all sides could go a long way in this day and age of partisan politics.

Thanks for reading (if you even made it this far).

 

**Edit**

No one has commented. Sad. I really was serious about wanting to hear the reasoning from the other side.

Also, these are the people who scare me…Do they also scare you? Why or why not?


Kids these days (girls specifically) think it’s perfectly acceptable to wear tights as pants.

FOR THE LOVE.

TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS. PANTS are pants. Tights are UNDERWEAR.

THAT IS ALL.